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Three terrifying Jack o lantern pumpkin alternatives

Friday 27th October 2017

Because it's Halloweek!

 

 

The Scream taro

Photo: Susan Strongman / The Wireless

Recent reports in the media have revealed that this Halloween, pumpkin prices are scary as heck!

"But what is the alternative?!" I hear you scream. 

"How shall I celebrate the United States' favourite holiday without blowing my budget?" others wonder. 

And some of you simply weep.

Well here at The Wireless, we say "There, there! Let's turn that frown upside down! Number eight wire! Kiwi ingenuity!"

Here are three high-quality*, low cost** pumpkin Jack o lantern alternatives for you to sink your fangs into.

1. THE TARO SCREAM

It's everyone's favourite Edvard Much painting in taro form

Photo: Susan Strongman / The Wireless

2. THE KUMARA TURD EMOJI

Turd emoji kumara - a modern classic

Photo: Susan Strongman / The Wireless 

 

3. THE SCARY GHOST CAPSICUM, LAUGHING VAMPIRE CAPSICUM AND SAD DEAD CAPSICUM

The Family Capsicum - please note genuine spiderwebs featuring actual spiders

Photo: Susan Strongman / The Wireless


Please be really careful not to cut yourself, and also don't leave your Jack o lanterns unattended, as they might set your house on fire. 

Before you excitedly start making these yourself, here's what you'll need (that's Juno, she's helping): 

I soon realised I needed some more stuff:

Extra tools were required

I cannot stress enough how careful you must be with the knife:

Kumara turd carving method

Thrifty tip: freeze the inside bits in an airtight container and use them for soup!

The end. 

 *This is debateable.
**The capsicums were $1.50 each at Countdown on special, the kumara was in my cupboard, and the taro was actually quite expensive.



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Susan Strongman is an Auckland-based journalist at The Wireless. She is interested in social issues, human rights and people, but likes to spend her spare time with her cats.
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