Because it's Halloweek!
Recent reports in the media have revealed that this Halloween, pumpkin prices are scary as heck!
Frightening prices on pumpkins this Halloween https://t.co/bZHw6KZxFy— the big gun herself (@tnichss) October 24, 2017
"But what is the alternative?!" I hear you scream.
"How shall I celebrate the United States' favourite holiday without blowing my budget?" others wonder.
And some of you simply weep.
Well here at The Wireless, we say "There, there! Let's turn that frown upside down! Number eight wire! Kiwi ingenuity!"
Here are three high-quality*, low cost** pumpkin Jack o lantern alternatives for you to sink your fangs into.
1. THE TARO SCREAM
2. THE KUMARA TURD EMOJI
3. THE SCARY GHOST CAPSICUM, LAUGHING VAMPIRE CAPSICUM AND SAD DEAD CAPSICUM
Please be really careful not to cut yourself, and also don't leave your Jack o lanterns unattended, as they might set your house on fire.
Before you excitedly start making these yourself, here's what you'll need (that's Juno, she's helping):
I soon realised I needed some more stuff:
I cannot stress enough how careful you must be with the knife:
Thrifty tip: freeze the inside bits in an airtight container and use them for soup!
*This is debateable.
**The capsicums were $1.50 each at Countdown on special, the kumara was in my cupboard, and the taro was actually quite expensive.