Has another week passed you by with nary a fleeting glance at the weird and wonderful world of online content? Get the goss with another handy installment of Keeping up with the Kontentsphere.
DRAKE IN AUCKLAND
Remember the last time Drake came to New Zealand and he went to all these random places like Pita Pit and Little Easy and Ebisu? Well Champagne Papi is back and just like last time whoever is babysitting him is giving some … interesting advice as to where to go in Auckland.
While sadly this time around Drake does not seem to have been tourist-ing quite as much, according to ~reports~ he went to Britomart nightclub 1885 on Wednesday on what was apparently "student night".
While the image of Drake dancing to The Chainsmokers with a bunch of undergrads is undeniably tantalising, I gather he hired a private room to go and be Drake in or whatever.
If anyone has any further Auckland Drake sightings please let me know (and be quick about it so I can get my butt in an Uber).
ZAC AND VIARNI NO MORE
Alas, while Art and Matilda find glory and riches building the paleo lifestyle brand to end all paleo lifestyle brands, their Bachelor NZ successors Zac Franich and Viarni Bright are officially dunzo.
At the start of this year I first laid eyes on someone pretty incredible. I knew quickly that this was the girl I had been searching for. I became a very lucky man in being able call her mine, and count myself fortunate to have held her hand by my side ever since. We’ve had plenty of laughs and have shared some pretty special memories together in that time. However.. in life, some things just aren’t meant to be.. Recently we both decided to continue our relationship just as friends. We’ll always share a lot of mutual love and respect, but felt we just weren’t quite right for each other. It’s not something we took lightly & it’s really tough for the both of us. I know there’s no one else I would have rather embarked on this wild ride with, and can only ever smile when thinking of the time Viarni and I shared. I’ve learnt a lot from her and have had so many good times, for which I’ll always be grateful. We’ve also really appreciated the kind words & messages from everyone throughout. You’ve all helped make this crazy & amazing adventure something we won’t be forgetting anytime soon. Signing off one last time, Z & V ❤️
But don’t worry though! They’re fine! Fiiiiiine. In (long) matching Instagram posts brimming with phrases like “plenty of laughs”, “special memories”, “adventure” and “mutual love and respect” the pair announced that, while each is definitely the best person ever, the time has come for them to go on their merry, separate, ways.
Not to worry guys. There’s plenty more fish in the (MediaWorks reality show) sea.
STEVEN ADAMS AIRPLANE
Beloved kiwi bloke/NBA legend Steven Adams had a bad flight this week but thankfully survived to tweet the tale.
According to Delta airlines, the cause was “likely” a bird, an answer I do not even consider slightly satisfactory.
MARK RICHARDSON DAMAGES HEAD
When I picture Mark Richardson going about his day (as I often do), I imagine him frequently flying into liberal media induced temper tantrums and crashing around like the hulk if he was a washed ex-cricketer.
Never leave work angry...you may just open the car door on yourself. pic.twitter.com/bdQoNplRTJ— Mark Richardson (@markmywordsAM) November 1, 2017
Confirming my theory, Mark Richardson managed to gash his forehead in some kind of rage related car door accident. Get well soon, Mark.
GARETH MORGAN CAT FUR ART
If you needed further proof that Otago Daily Times is the best news publication in the country, then look no further than this (excellently headlined) piece about a woman who embroidered a portrait of Gareth Morgan using felted fur from her two cats, Monty and Oscar.
Amy Baker, who has previously made a similar portrait of Donald Trump using both cat and human hair, said she hopes Morgan “would get a laugh out of it”.
Well I did Amy. I did.