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Keeping up with the Kontentsphere

Friday 1st September 2017

Has another week passed you by with nary a fleeting glance at the weird and wonderful world of online content? Get the goss with another handy installment of Keeping up with the Kontentsphere.

LORDE OF THE DANCE

Lorde performed at the VMA’s :)

But she had the flu :(

So instead of singing... she danced! :O

Some were thrilled. Others were baffled. A few fans were even disappointed, though this latter group were quickly met with a stern reminder that dissent will not be tolerated.

Let that be a lesson to you.

BILL ENGLISH’S DELICIOUS WEEK

While it’s been bit of a fizzer of a week in the world of politics for our poor Prime Minister Bill English, who sank woefully further in the polls, thankfully it was quite a different story with regards to his many noms.

On Tuesday he had cake - THE BEST FRUITCAKE HE’S EVER EATEN.

You might think that  sampling a cake of which you are a “big fan”, only to find it is it is the BEST VERSION OF THAT CAKE YOU’VE EVER HAD would be pretty unbeatable. Not so for ol’ Bill.

Yes, that’s right: the BEST FRUIT CAKE BILL ENGLISH HAS EVER EATEN was no match for this “ultra-tasty” steak and cheese pie which quickly eclipsed all memory of that delicious cake.

And then to top it all off he had some “great” coffee.

Good on ya Bill.

GILDA <3 NATIONAL

Speaking of Bill, however he may be doing in the polls, he can take comfort knowing he has at least one fan in the form of Real Housewife of Auckland Gilda Kirkpatrick.

Gilda, who shot to fame as one of the housewives not to use or defend a racial slur, has been tweeting up a storm this week, and several other weeks for that matter, expressing her love for the National party.

No one tell the Greens.

BILL RALSTON vs THE YOUNG

Bill Ralston is an important man with important questions. This week he asked one:

I also have important questions:

Why am I going to douse your flaming house with water when my cousin’s house has faulty wiring?

Why am I going to lend you my phone charger when my dentist’s phone is on 16 percent as we speak?

Why am I going to water your houseplants while you're away when my hairdresser hasn’t taken leave in months?

THIS HORNY BIRD

Mmmm.



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