Women - cruel and deceitful - have long attempted to lure and trap unsuspecting men by masking their hideousness with an image altering substance known as makeup.
Men - wise and rational - have, of course, spent centuries trying to thwart these beguiling sirens - the most popular modern solution being to “take her swimming on a first date”, delivering a one-two punch of aquatic fun and cosmetologically compromising chlorinated water. Once doused, and therefore cleansed, the male may then take stock of his potential bride’s true visage and decide if she really is worth the three goats and bag of coins he thought her to be.
Well good news fellas - there may be another way. A Russian app developer named Ashot Gabrelyanov has invented MakeApp, an “AI editor” that can show what women really look like without makeup.
Using the app is easy: simply grant the app access to your phone’s data (what could go wrong?) upload a photo of your sweetie and select the remove feature and bombs away!
I - a makeup-clad harpy - tried it out and let me say, the jig is most certainly up!
Should the harsh truth be too much though fear not: Gabrelyanov, also the founder of alleged propaganda pro-Russia news outlet LifeNews, has also included features that add makeup in a variety of escalating levels of cake-eg.
My favourite, as pictured above, is the very fetching and cleverly named ‘Dunkirk’ filter. Now that’s the look I was going for!
Sadly though, there is a catch - only the first five pictures come free, after which you will be asked to make an in-app purchase of $1.49 for additional photos.
Sorry guys, but hey – it’s a small price to pay for the truth.